When Yosef reveals himself to the brothers he cries on the neck of Binyamin and Binyamon cries on his neck. Rashi says that Binyamin cried over the mishkan that would be in the portion of Yosef and get destroyed and Yosef was crying for the mikdash in the portion of Binyamin that would be destroyed. Why at this point, a time of happy reunion, would they cry over events in the future? Furthermore, why would they cry for the other one's portion and no for their own?
The whole feud between Yosef and the brothers was of course for noble, idealistic reasons. However, there was some taint of hatred that the brothers felt toward Yosef and that's what inspired them to sell him into slavery. Ultimately, it would be the same problem that would lead to the destruction of the holy temples. It is precisely Yosef and Binyomin that in fact merit to house these holy abodes for they weren't tainted with this problem of brotherly hatred. When Yosef and Binyomin finally meet, they are happy to be united but they see that ultimately the problem still exists, that brotherly hatred will still haunt them in the days of the future. Therefore, they cry over the destruction of the temples.
The Rebbe (Likutay Sichos volume 10) explains that crying is an expression of helpless pain. It is a reaction of uncontrollable emotions. Such a reaction is only apropos when dealing with another's problem that you can't fix. Then its fitting to share in their pain and cry. However, when it comes to your own problem don't cry; fix it.
See this article based upon lecture of Rav Aharon Lichtenstein that contrasts the tears of Yosef vs. the lack of crying by the brothers, and explores the meaning of those tears.
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