You Are The Luchos

The meforshim ask after the sin of the agel, why did Moshe Rabbenu have to break the luchos, put them aside, explain the people's wrongdoing, let them do teshuvah and them get back to the luchos? In the intro. to Sharay Yosher, Rav Shimon Shkap says that the first luchos were the writing of G-d and if one learnt Torah, there was no room for forgetting.  This would result in someone to be completely corrupt inside but a genius in Torah in his outward appearance.   Yes, Moshe might be able to teach teshuva now, but going forward this would be a persistent problem.  Moshe Rabbenu understood that wasn't the right approach and hence saw the first luchos can't be accepted by Klal Yisroel.  Therefore, the second luchos were hand written by Moshe. Every letter had to be carved and was a struggle to acquire.  Similarly, to write the Torah על לוח לבך, a person must carve out his soul to be a receptacle to receive the Torah.  It is only if a person makes himself a מקבל, if his innards are transformed and elevated, that Torah will set in.  Every person has their own luchos of their heart; it is up to you to decide what will be written on them.

At the end of the Briskor Rav on Sotah he cites the story of Rav Chayim Volozener's chiluk between his brother, Rav Zalman's knowledge of Torah and that of the Gra.  Rav Chayim said that his brother know's all of Torah like most people know אשרי but that is he knows the next words to continue, but he doesn't know it backward.  However, the Gra knew it forward and backward, inside out.  Asks the Rav, who cares if he knew it backward as well, does that mean he has a greater grasp of the material?  Explains the Rav, it's not a question of an understanding, it's a different level.  The obligation of ידיעת התורה isn't just an amount one must occupy in memory, the שיעור is כתבם על לוח לבך, Mishlay (3:3,) just as if something is written on a tablet in front of you, you see the whole thing and can read it backward, such is the obligation of לימוד התורה.  It's not that the Gra remembered the words better, he knew the Torah so well it was as if it was open before him.  The source for this is the possuk in Shma (Vaeschanan 6:6) וְהָי֞וּ הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה אֲשֶׁ֨ר אָנֹכִ֧י מְצַוְּךָ֛ הַיּ֖וֹם עַל־לְבָבֶֽךָ, where the Targum Yonason says ויהון פיתגמיא האילין דאנא מפקיד יתכון יומא דין כתיבין על לוח ליבכון.]  Some apparently say that the Gra himself already said such an idea, though I don't know the source, "פעם שאל אחד את הגאון מווילנה: מדוע אמר שלמה המלך "כתבם על לוח לבך" ולא "זכרם בלבך"? ענה הגאון ואמר לו: אתה בוודאי אומר שנים רבות את מזמור "אשרי יושבי ביתך", וזוכר אותו בעל-פה. אמור לי בבקשה, מהי הימיה שכתובה לפני המילים "קרוב ה' לכל קוראיו"? משלא ידע לענות במהירות, ענה הגאון ואמר: זהו ההבדל בין זכירה לכתיבה. כשזה כתוב, אפשר לקרוא גם מהסוף להתחלה... כך צריך לזכור את התורה!" (wikisource.)