Wednesday, October 31, 2018

How To Mourn

An interesting phenomenon I noticed when my grandmother passed away.  Many of my relatives (but not all) didn't want to weep in public.  Only when no one was around did they let their emotions out.
Chazal point out the strange terminology around Sarah's death.  The possuk (23:2) says vayavo Avrohom, Avrohom came, where was he when Sarah died?  Did he leave Sarah to die alone?  Chazal explain that Sarah died when she heard the news of the akedah and that's where Avrohom was coming from.  Rav Hirsch has a different take.  He says that the word bo means to "betake oneself out of the open into the house."  Thus the possuk means that Avrohom shut himself apart from everyone slse to weep and mourn for Sarah.  He suggests that's possibly why there is a small caf in libcoseh, to indicate that the emotions expressed outwardly were in a small measure.  It seems that Rav Hirsch understands that it is best to not be to outwardly emotional over obe's loss of a relative, even as such a great life partner as Sarah was to Avrohom.  It is unclear to me why Rav Hirsch held of this approach.  Possibly its just a yeki thing, that one should not show any emotions.  I was thinking of a different explanation.  If one lets all their emotions out in public then s/he has no time to absorb the meaning of the loss into themselves.

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