How To Properly Praise

The Mishna In Avot (2:8/9 depending on your edition) says הוא היה מונה שבחם, Rav Yochanan ben Zakai would count the praises of his students.  The question is how is he allowed to say their praises if the Gemarah Arachin (16a) says תני רב דימי אחוה דרב [=אחיו של רב] ספרא: לעולם אל יספר אדם בטובתו של חבֵירו, שמתוך טובתו בא לידי רעתו, one is not supposed to praise someone else for it will lead to their negative traits being brought up?  Rashi in Arachin says the issur is in saying the praises of someone יותר מדאי, going too far an exaggerating in one's praise of another.  According to this approach it is understandable that R.B.Z. who said one simple praise of his students was allowed.  Rabbi Akiba Eger in Arachin sends you to the Rambam (Deot 7:4) who says the issur is בפני שונאיו, when speaking before people who dislike the individual then his negative traits will be brought up.  However, when it is not  בפני שונאיו it is allowed (see the Magen Avraham siman 156 who asks from the Gemarah Bava Bathra (164b) and Rashash in Arachin.)  

The Rambam earlier in Deot (6:3) says not only is it not prohibited but it is actually part of the mitzvah of ואהבת לרעך כמוך to praise someone else, מִצְוָה עַל כָּל אָדָם לֶאֱהֹב אֶת כָּל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל כְּגוּפוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט יח) ".וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ". לְפִיכָךְ צָרִיךְ לְסַפֵּר בְּשִׁבְחוֹ וכו  Part of loving somene else is to make them feel good via praise.  This would seem to run counter to the Pri Migadim (156) who suggests based upon the Gemarah Shabbat (31ש) that the mitzvah is just not to do something negative to another individual but not doing a positive is not part of וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ, from the Rambam it sounds like it is (many of the sources I developed from an article of Lord Rabbi Saks a"h.)  

The Gemarah Eiruvin (18b) says אמר רבי ירמיה בן אלעזר מקצת שבחו של אדם אומרים בפניו, וכולו שלא בפניו.  Again, how is one allowed to praise someone else, we would have to say one of the above answers.  Rashi explains the issue of saying כולו בפניו is that it appears that one is flattering the recipient.  The Mahrasha suggests the reason is that it will cause the recipient to become haughty but says Rashi did not say this was as the Midrash Rabbah on Noach (32:3) says רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בְּנוֹ שֶׁל רַבִּי יוֹסֵי הַגְּלִילִי אָמַר מָצִינוּ שֶׁאוֹמְרִים מִקְצַת שִׁבְחוֹ שֶׁל מִי שֶׁאָמַר וְהָיָה הָעוֹלָם בְּפָנָיו, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים סו, ג): אִמְרוּ לאלקים מַה נּוֹרָא מַעֲשֶׂיךָ, שֶׁלֹא בְפָנָיו אוֹמֵר (תהלים קלו, א): הוֹדוּ לַה' כִּי טוֹב כִּי לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ.  The Maharsha says the reason of causing haughtiness doesn't apply to Hashem and hence Rashi learned the reason is that one appears to be trying to flatter.  I don't understand very well how the reason of flattery applies to Hashem either and the Eitz Yosef and other meforshim on the Midrash don't accept it either, at the end of the day I don't understand what is the issue of כולו שלא בפניו in regard to Hashem, וצ"ע. 

(Someone wrote a wrote a small kuntras on the topic of מקצת שבחו של אדם אומרים בפניו, וכולו שלא בפניו and he cites from Rav Mottel Katz that the Rashi that says אומרים מקצת שבחו means as an obligation, one should say partial praises on an individual, this is in line with the Rambam that this is part of וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ.) 

The Yismach Moshe on this week's parsha, Emor, reads this law into a Midrash in this week's parsha and in his explanation he says ולפי זה קשה איך אנחנו משבחין ומפארין ומהללין בפיוטים בהרבה שבחות וקילוסין, וכי מסיימהו וכו'. והתירוץ הוא על פי המדרש (פרשת לך, ב"ר פל"ב ג') ואף שבחו של הקב"ה אומרים מקצתו בפניו וכו', דלא כדעת רבא דאמר להאי דנחית קמי דציבורא סיימתינהו, he says this Midrash holds you are allowed to say partial praises of Hashem not like the Gemarah which says it is prohibited to praise Hashem for you can never say enough (It is also noteworthy that Rashi Megillah 18a says the issur to add to the praises of Hashem, מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ, אָסוּר לְסַפֵּר בְּשִׁבְחוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא is in the context of a beracha, אסור לספר - בקביעות ברכה, it soundsl ike from Rashi merely saying praises of Hashem not in the context of a beracha is fine, in which case there is no contradiction from the Midrash for more discussion see here.)