What Is The Desire

There are a lot of different events in Behaloscha.  A common denominator that runs through many of them is that one's desire defines the activity.  On the positive side we have Aharon feeling bad about missing out on the chanukah of the Mishkan and the tamei people missing out on korban pesach.  That desire does not go unnoticed and Aharon receives the lighting of the menorah and the tamei people bring about the parsha of pesach sheni.  

On the flip side, the Ramban identifies the פרעניות before the parsha of ויהי בנסוע as the possuk of ויסעו מהר ה and he quotes Chazal say כתינוק הבורח מבית הספר.  The Ballei Mussar point out that the issue is not the Klal Yisrael left to early, they only traveled based upon the command of Hashem, the issue is the attitude Klal Yisrael had to rush away from Sinai to not possibly receive more mitzvot.  The Ramban says it may be due to this, Klal Yisrael did not immediately enter into Eretz Yisrael.    

ויהי העם כמתאוננים Rashi says אֵין מִתְאוֹנְנִים אֶלָּא לְשׁוֹן עֲלִילָה — מְבַקְּשִׁים עֲלִילָה הֵיאַךְ לִפְרֹשׁ מֵאַחֲרֵי הַמָּקוֹם, they were looking for a way how to turn away from Hashem.  Rashi says a similar idea 4 pessukim later on the words, וַיָּשֻׁ֣בוּ וַיִּבְכּ֗וּ גַּ֚ם בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ מִ֥י יַֽאֲכִלֵ֖נוּ בָּשָֽׂר, says Rashi, וְכִי לֹא הָיָה לָהֶם בָּשָׂר? וַהֲלֹא כְּבָר נֶאֱמַר "וְגַם עֵרֶב רַב עָלָה אִתָּם וְצֹאן וּבָקָר" וְגוֹ' (שמות י"ב), וְאִם תֹּאמַר אֲכָלוּם, וַהֲלֹא בִּכְנִיסָתָן לָאָרֶץ נֶאֱמַר "וּמִקְנֶה רַב הָיָה לִבְנֵי רְאוּבֵן" וְגוֹ' (במדבר ל"ב)? אֶלָּא שֶׁמְּבַקְשִׁים עֲלִילָה.  Rav Yerucham says Rashi is telling us that what inspired these complaints was really that there desire was to go against Hashem.  The complaints were not legitimate, they were just a coverup to comply with their desire to rebel against Hashem.

The Inner Animal

 The Chasam Sofer cites the Tanya, the handwritten edition was sold

Revelation Via Concealment

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר י״י֜ אֶל⁠־מֹשֶׁ֗ה הִנֵּ֨ה אָנֹכִ֜י בָּ֣א אֵלֶ֘יךָ֮ בְּעַ֣ב הֶֽעָנָן֒ בַּעֲב֞וּר יִשְׁמַ֤ע הָעָם֙ בְּדַבְּרִ֣י עִמָּ֔ךְ וְגַם⁠־בְּךָ֖ יַאֲמִ֣ינוּ לְעוֹלָ֑ם וַיַּגֵּ֥ד מֹשֶׁ֛ה אֶת⁠־דִּבְרֵ֥י הָעָ֖ם אֶל⁠־י״יֽ

וַיַּעֲמד הָעָם מֵרָחֹק וּמשֶׁה נִגַּשׁ אֶל הָעֲרָפֶל אֲשֶׁר שָׁם הָאֱלֹקִים 

The episode of Mattan Torah is clouded in a thick mist.  Why, at this the greatest moment of revelation, is there a hazy surrounding?  Rebbe Nachman (#115) says that Hashem always appears after there is a point of difficulty; after it appears that Hashem is hidden. In order to be coming closer to Hashem, it is necessary to overcome difficulties which appear to drive a person away.  However, Hashem Himself is found within the difficulty itself.  By pushing through, one will find Hashem behind the clouds. 

Rav Kook adds that this is necessary for a person to able to receive the great light of the revelation of Hashem.  Normally in order to see things clearer, the more light the better.  However, since Hashem's revelation is so great it would be impossible for a person to absorb it properly.  It is only through concealment that Hashem's revelation can be absorbed.  (This idea is the cause for the very existence of the world.  It is only through the act of tzitmtzum of Hashem concealing His Light that allows for the world to exist.)  The basis for this idea already is present in the words of the Rambam in Moreh Nevuchim who notes that Hashem is often described as lurking in darkness including the possuk בעב הענן because mortals contained in a physical form can't fathom the full revelation of Hashem.  Yet at the same time the Rambam notes this possuk in the beginning of Ch. 8 of Yesodey Hatorah as the basis for the entire Judaism for it is proof that Klal Yisrael saw that the prophesy of Moshe is true and hence all of the Torah is true.  In other words, at the greatest point of revelation, mankind is limited by his ability to fully see the revelation of Hashem.    

That is why the revelation of Mashiach has to come to the world in a hidden manner though the relationship with Lot and his daughters, Yehuda and Tamar, Rus and Boaz etc. for the great light must be hidden. 

At the time of Mattan Torah itself, the first luchos which Moshe went up to receive on Shavuot were broken.  However, the Gemarah Eiruvin (54a) says that if only the first luchos were not broken one would never forget their learning.  Torah would be hewed into a person's heart immediately upon studying.  It is only the breaking of the luchos that causes people to forget their learning.  Yet, as Rav Hutner notes (Chanukah maamer #3,) it is only through the forgetting of Torah that the pilpul of Torah is propagated and expanded throughout the generations.  It is the forgetting of Torah, the hiding of a revelation that leads to a greater light.  

Maybe this is hinted to in the Rambam (Talmud Torah 3:13) אין אדם לומד רוב חכמתו אלא בלילה.  Specifically when it is dark, when there is concealment that is when one merits to tap into the greatest wisdom 

Rav Kook ends  ובימינו אלה אין שום ספק שעוד הפעם אורו של משיח, אור של גאולה בבחינת תעלומה מופיע ומתנוצץ לפנינו, (ו) מרוב הזוהר המעולף בעיקרו בעובי חושך, עד כדי הסתרה נוראה, שהיא הולכת ונמשכת מאז אשר דבר ה' בא אל הרועה הנאמן ללמד לדורות, כי העב הענן המסתיר את האור העליון הוא הוא הענן המכין את ההתגלות של אורו, וכל הקשורים בקדושת ישראל, וקדושתה של תורה, שהיא לעד ולעולם מקור הגאולה, יבינו וידעו כי מעב הענן המסתיר את האור האלקי, תצא אורה אשר תופיע על הנשמות כולן, על כל ישראל ומהם על כל העמים, וכי "הנני בא אליך בעב הענן", במסתרים, במעשים אשר מבין הקרואים לעמוד בראשם ולעשותם, ישנם כאלה שאינם יודעים כלל את ערכם ואת מהותם, ביחס לתפקידם ההשגחיי העליון, הם נקראים בשמם ולא ידעו מי הוא הקורא אותם, וכמו אצל כורש הנכרי מתקיים גם בהם: אכנך ואאזרך ולא ידעתני. אבל הסוף של ההסתרה הנוראה הזאת, תהיה ההופעה היותר אדירה והיותר נצחית: למען ישמע העם בדברי עמך וגם בך יאמינו לעולם. ומאופל וממסתור, עיני עורים תראינה באור חדש, אשר יופיע על ציון ועל מקראיה במהרה בימינו אמן.

The Prince In The Desert

Midrash וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר (ירמיה ט, א): מִי יִתְּנֵנִי בַמִּדְבָּר מְלוֹן אֹרְחִים וְאֶעֶזְבָה אֶת עַמִּי וגו', הֵיכָן שֶׁהָיִיתִי מִתְקַלֵּס, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה מב, יא): יִשְׂאוּ מִדְבָּר וְעָרָיו חֲצֵרִים תֵּשֵׁב קֵדָר יָרֹנּוּ ישְׁבֵי סֶלַע, לְנָשִׂיא שֶׁנִּכְנַס לִמְּדִינָה וְרָאוּ אוֹתוֹ בְּנֵי הַמְּדִינָה וּבָרְחוּ, נִכְנַס לַשְּׁנִיָה וּבָרְחוּ מִלְּפָנָיו, נִכְנַס לְעִיר חֲרֵבָה וְקִדְּמוּ אוֹתוֹ וְהָיוּ מְקַלְּסִין אוֹתוֹ, אָמַר הַנָּשִׂיא זוֹ הָעִיר טוֹבָה הִיא מִכָּל הַמְּדִינוֹת, כָּאן אֲנִי בּוֹנֶה כֵּס נָאֶה, כָּאן אֲנִי דָר. כָּךְ כְּשֶׁבָּא הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לַיָּם בָּרַח מִלְּפָנָיו, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים קיד, ג): הַיָּם רָאָה וַיָּנֹס, וְכֵן (תהלים קיד, ד): הֶהָרִים רָקְדוּ כְאֵילִים, בָּא בְּמִדְבַּר חָרְבָּה, קִדְּמָה אוֹתוֹ וְקִלְּסָה אוֹתוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: יִשְׂאוּ מִדְבָּר וְעָרָיו חֲצֵרִים תֵּשֵׁב קֵדָר יָרֹנּוּ ישְׁבֵי סֶלַע, אָמַר זוֹ הָעִיר טוֹבָה לִי מִכָּל הַמְּדִינוֹת, בּוֹ אֲנִי בּוֹנֶה כְּנֵסִיָה וְדָר בְּתוֹכָהּ, הִתְחִילוּ שְׂמֵחִים שֶׁהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא דָּר בְּתוֹכָהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה לה, א): יְשֻׂשׂוּם מִדְבָּר וְצִיָּה. "Would that I would be in the wilderness, in a wayfarers’ lodge, and I would leave my people…” (Jeremiah 9:11), where I would be lauded, as it is stated: “Let the wilderness and its cities raise their voice, the villages that Kedar inhabits; rock dwellers will sing” (Isaiah 42:11). This is analogous to a prince who entered a province, and the residents of the province saw him and fled. He entered the second, and they fled from before him. He entered a city in ruins, and they greeted him and were lauding him. The prince said: This city is better than all the provinces. Here I will build a fine throne; here I will reside. So, when the Holy One blessed be He came to the sea, it fled from before Him, as it is stated: “The sea saw and fled” (Psalms 114:3), and likewise, “the mountains danced like rams” (Psalms 114:4). He came to the desolate wilderness; it greeted Him and lauded Him, as it is stated: “Let the wilderness and its cities raise their voice, with courtyards inhabited by Kedar; rock dwellers will sing.” He said: This city is better for Me than all the provinces. In it, I will build an inn and reside within it. They began rejoicing that the Holy One blessed be He resides in it, as it is stated: “Wilderness and wasteland will be glad, [and the desert shall rejoice]” (Isaiah 35:1).

What is the Midrash teaching us?  Why do the other cities run away from the prince but the uninhabited area is happy to welcome the prince?  

The Bear Mayim Chayim says the Midrash is bothered why the possuk needs to say במדבר סיני  if they had not yet moved from the Sinai desert, obviously they were there?  The Midrash is telling us that the Torah had to be given to mankind for everything else understood the greatness of Hashem and was scared to confront Him.  Only mankind which is like a מדבר due to their total lack of understanding the grandeur of Hashem welcome Him.  However, after going through such an experience of the revelation from Hashem it leads one to feel humble and that is hinted in the words Har Sinai, the low mountain.  According to this take, I suppose the lesson is that despite the great ignorance of man, G-d gave us the Torah and we should be greatly humbled by that knowledge. 

Another approach to explain the Midrash is that the prince is bringing new law and order to the land.  The settled cities already have their lives set and don't want to be disturbed.  They don't see that they are missing something the way that they are currently living.  It is only the place that that nothing that realizes they are truly lacking and welcome in the prince.  The lesson is that to be driven to acquire Torah, one must recognize that without Torah one is lacking in knowledge of the חוקי חיים.  

צמאה לך נפשי כמה לך בשרי בארץ ציה ועיף בלי מים כן בקדש חזיתיך לראות עזך וכבודך, My soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You, in an arid and thirsty land, without water As I saw You in the Sanctuary, [so do I long] to see Your strength and Your glory.  The Baal Shem Tov reads it כן בקודש, just as I longed and pined for G-d during the days of the desert (golus,) so too I should have the same feelings during the geulah.  It is the sense of yearning present during times of spiritual depravity which are a struggle to match during the good times.  It is that desire, that sense of yearning and lacking, which is important to receive the Torah.  

The last piece of Sfas Emes this week says בשבת שלפני שבועות צריכין להכין לקבלת התורה כי השבת ניתן קודם התורה שהיא הכנה לקבלת התורה.  Working on the desire, the need to have Torah is an important step in reading one's self for קבלת התורה.

Broken Vessels

Gemarah Berachot (8b) הזהרו בזקן ששכח תלמודו מחמת אונסו דאמרינן לוחות ושברי לוחות מונחות בארון.  What is the comparison of a talmud chacham to the broken luchot?  Rav Soloveitchik explains that there are two kedushot present in the luchot.  It has the kedusha of a sefer Torah and it has kedusha as kedushat haguf for being part of the kelim of the Mikdash.  A talmud chacham as well has kedusha askin to that of a sefer Torah, he is acknowledged honor because of his knowledge but in addition he has kedushat haguf.  The Mishna in Avot (4:13) says כתר תורה וכתר כהונה וכתר מלכות.  Just as the kohan is elevated above a regular yisrael and a king is elevated above the rest of the nation, so too a talmud chacham becomes elevated as a chalos din in the gavra due to his acquisition of the keser Torah.  Hence, even after his learning is forgotten, the kedushat haguf on the person is afforded honor.   Rashi Pesachim (68b) says שלמדתי תורה ונתרוממתי, through learning Torah, a person becomes elevated above the level of everyone else.  That is the transformation of עמילות בתורה.

Becoming A Torah Man

The opening words of the parsha, אִם־בְּחֻקֹּתַ֖י תֵּלֵ֑כוּּ Rashi comments  יָכוֹל זֶה קִיּוּם הַמִּצְווֹת, כְּשֶׁהוּא אוֹמֵר וְאֶת מִצְוֹתַי תִּשְׁמְרוּ וַעֲשִיתֶם אֹתָם הֲרֵי קִיּוּם הַמִּצְווֹת אָמוּר, הָא מָה אֲנִי מְקַיֵּם אִם בְּחֻקֹּתַי תֵּלֵכוּ? שֶׁתִּהְיוּ עֲמֵלִים בַּתּוֹרָה,  "I might think that this refers to the fulfillment of the commandments. However, when Scripture says, “and observe My commandments,” the fulfillment of the commandments is [already] stated. So what is the meaning of “If you follow My statutes”? It means that you must toil in the study of Torah."  How did Rashi answer the question, learning Torah is also a mitzvah so why is it not included in the words וַעֲשִיתֶם אֹתָם?  Furthermore, how does Rashi know that בְּחֻקֹּתַ֖י תֵּלֵ֑כוּּ  refers to עמלות בתורה, toil in Torah and not just learning Torah?  What does עמלות בתורה mean and how does it fit in the words בְּחֻקֹּתַ֖י תֵּלֵ֑כוּּ?  

Why is the bulk of Torah study in Yeshivot and the occupation of great Torah scholars spent on analyzing laws that almost never even occur in actuality?  The learning of Torah is not an action done merely to acquire more knowledge, to know how to live a life as a good Jew and how to follow the laws and customs of the religion.  That is a study like studying any other subject matter, albeit of course studying Torah is a mitzvah.  The study of Torah however, goes way beyond that.  The study of Torah transforms a person into a different category of person.  The Chazon Eish writes in a letter that a Torah scholar among a crowd of people is like an angel walking among men.  A person becomes transformed by the study of Torah to reach levels unattainable without Torah study.  That is amelut baTorah, when one's learning is not performed as any other mitzvah but is a transformative act.  The method of study most suitable for this transformation is intensive study of the laws of the Torah which open a person's mind to appreciate the depths and approach of the Torah.  That is what great scholars and yeshivot are doing and training scholars to do.  They are not merely studying Torah but becoming Torah minds, Torah people.  

This transformation is something that can only come about through intensive Torah study in which one's mind becomes attached to the Wisdom of G-d as expressed through the Torah which is not obtained through other mitzvot.  This difference is reflected in the halacha that one must stand for one who is currently engaged in a mitzvah act (Chullin 54b) but for a talmid chacham one must stand in his honor even if he is not currently learning.  What is the difference?  One stands for the mitzvah being done as in that moment one is surrounded by the G-dly light of the mitzvah but the Torah scholar who has elevated himself due to the G-dly Wisdom that has become part of his essence.

The word  בְּחֻקֹּתַ֖י is related to the word חקיקה, engraving (Or HaTorah of Alter Rebbe.)  How does one become carved into a malach among men?  How is one engraved, become one, with commandments of Hashem?  It only through amelut baTorah, becoming a Torah mind.  Only then can be תלכו, to walk, to advance and become close to Hashem (Maharal.)  That is why Rashi comments בְּחֻקֹּתַ֖י תֵּלֵ֑כוּּ means amelut baTorah.