The Battle Of The Ego

Why does the story of Yehuda and Tamar interrupt the narrative of Yosef?  The Gemarah Sotah (13a) says כָּל הָעוֹשֶׂה דָּבָר וְלֹא גְּמָרוֹ רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר אוֹמֵר אַף מוֹרִידִין אוֹתוֹ מִגְּדוּלָּתוֹ דִּכְתִיב וַיְהִי בָּעֵת הַהִיא וַיֵּרֶד יְהוּדָה רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר נַחְמָנִי אָמַר אַף קוֹבֵר אִשְׁתּוֹ וּבָנָיו דִּכְתִיב וַתָּמׇת בַּת שׁוּעַ אֵשֶׁת יְהוּדָה וְגוֹ׳ וּכְתִיב וַיָּמׇת עֵר וְאוֹנָן.  Why is Yehuda worthy of such punishment, at least he advised not to kill Yosef?  And what is the middah kineged middah?  

The Midrash says that since Yehuda said to Yaakov הכר נא הכתונת בנך היא therefore he was embarrassed by Tamar saying הכר נא למי החתמת והפתילים והמטה.  What is the connection between these two episodes besides the shared words? 

Many books say that the parshiot of Yosef and Yehuda are the two battling over the malchut of Klal Yisrael. 

The yesod of malchut is לית ליה מגרמיה כלום.  Malchut is a reflection of the people.  A melech does not have his own essence, he is a vessel to channel and funnel the light, ideas and opinions of others.

The brothers heard saw Yosef as an egoist who was trying to seize power for himself.  Therefore, they viewed him as unfit and in fact a threat to the malchut and determined to get rid of him.  Yehuda, the melech, should have put a stop to that idea and realizes that their cheshbon was not 100% honest but was tinged by their own jealousy.  However, Yehuda's judgement was clouded by his own ego and therefore he did not entirely halt the effort to do away with Yosef and only stopped him from being killed.  Since Yehuda was not a mere reflection of the truth but he thrust his own self into the equation he lost them malchut (Rashi on Chumash says the brothers demoted him, on the Gemarah he says שמים demoted him, see Maharsha.)  The same type of averah is what his children did.  They did not want to produce children for it was not beneficial for them.  They were continuing in the mistake Yehuda made by selling Yosef (see Maharsha Sotah says they were אוחז מעשה אבותיהם בידיהם, maybe that is the explanation.)  Therefore, Yehuda's children were taken away from him for they were also not acting worthy of their status (based upon Bishveley Haparsha by Rabbi Shmuel Divar.) 

The tikkun of Yehuda was to admit that he impregnated Tamar and face his own personal embarrassment.  He put aside his own chesbon and did what was right.  The הכר נא was giving him the opportunity to correct the הכר נא he said to Yaakov.  In the first instance, he let his own well-being get the better of himself but the second time he put himself aside before others.  Furthermore, the very items that הכר נא was about allude to this tikkun. The garment which Yaakov was told הכר נא was the כתונת פסים which was a symbol of the malchut of Yosef.  The brothers tried to rip away any claim of Yosef to the malchut and they removed his כתונת פסים.  The siman of Yehuda's malchus was in his חותם, פתיל ומטה (see Ramban,) and he had to literally take back his malchut by nullifying himself for someone else (based upon Birchat Yitzchak.) 

The malchus comes from Yehuda for the Yehuda recognized his mission to be nullyified before others.  That is why his name is made of the name of Hashem plus a ד which stands for דל for he recognizes that he has nothing and everything is from Hashem.  That is part of the celebration of Chanukah.  Even as we feel uplifted with הלל, at the same time it comes with הודאה, the acknowledgement that the celebration is not due to our own accomplishments but due to Hashem allowing us to be victorious (based upon Or Gedalyahu Chanukah oas 13.)